Hannibal's Valentine's Day of Woes
by CassieRaven
Summary: Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, Hannibal's not sure what to gift to Will as the two have been officially dating for over a couple of months now. Much to his dismay, he gets unwanted advice from Team Sassy Science and others in their circle of friends. What's a doctor/secret cannibal to do?


**Title:** Hannibal's Valentine's Day of Woes

**Author:** CassieRaven (Formerly known as GothicAnn87 and CassandraMalfoy)

**Categories:** M/M, General

**Rated:** M (Mature or R-Rated)

**Genre:** Humor/Comedy, Romance

**Fandom:** Hannibal (Television Series)

**Relationship:** Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter

**Characters:** Will Graham, Hannibal Lecter, Jack Crawford, Beverly Katz, Jimmy Price, Brian Zeller, Alana Bloom, Abigail Hobbs, Will's Dogs

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**Warnings/Tags:** Writing Challenge, Drabbles, Alternate Universe (Through Seasons 1 through 3), Modern Setting, Alternate Universe – Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Some Out of Character, Fluff, Humor, Engaged, Will knows about Hannibal being the Ripper, Will knows what 'long pork' really is, Will Graham is a Tease, Hannibal is Smitten, Will and Hannibal live together, Domestic Living, Domestic Partnership, Two Cannibals in Love, Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day Holiday, Holiday, Love, Fluff, Smut

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**Disclaimer:** I am not in any way affiliated with Hannibal; Hannibal the television (TV) series was created and developed by Bryan Fuller for NBC, was produced by Bryan Fuller and other producers of the television series. The novel of 'Hannibal' like others in its chronicle series ('Silence of the Lambs' and 'Red Dragon') were all written and created by its author and writer Thomas Harris. The characters contained herein are not mine. The only thing I own the rights to or creation is if any of my original characters are in this fan fictional story. No money is being made from this fan fictional story/fan fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.

I own nothing! Thus, no need for a lawsuit!

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**Summary:** Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, Hannibal's not sure what to gift to Will as the two have been officially dating for over a couple of months now. Much to his dismay, he gets unwanted advice from Team Sassy Science and others in their circle of friends. What's a doctor/secret cannibal to do?

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**Author's Notes:**

Salutations to all readers and Hannibal fans reading this author's note.

I hope everyone will enjoy their 2020 Valentine's Day holiday this year, this Friday.

Here is my gift to everyone, but especially to my readers, this story for Valentine's Day.

Major thanks to my Beta-Reader Pensee as always for Beta-Reading over this story, thank you lovely!

This story is dedicated to all of my Fannibal Friends, Fellow Fannibals, Fellow Hannigram Ship Writers/Authors, and Artists out there.

Happy Valentine's Day 2020 holiday to everyone out there!

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**Writing Prompt:** Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day Holiday

**Title:** Hannibal's Valentine's Day of Woes

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"Buster, manners young man. You know better than to beg for extra treats when I just gave you some earlier after you and your siblings just finished supper. Papa has a headache." Hannibal told the canine mischief-maker as Buster sighed, and trotted off to join his brothers and sisters back to where their doggy beds were by the fireplace to keep warm in the cold winter season.

"You alright babe? You usually give in to Buster's begging demands for second rounds of snacks." Will asked his lover as he looked at him concerned from where the two of them were seated together in the expensive posh-looking sofa, a glass of whiskey in his hands.

"I'm fine Will. I just have a lot on my mind. Is there anything you would like to do tomorrow? Anything special for the holiday occasion?" Hannibal inquired of his curly-haired partner, silently in his mind feeling anxious about what Will's response could be.

"Ahh, that. I was just thinking that we have a simple dinner. Like we usually do on our Friday Nights. But if you want to make it a little extra special, I wouldn't mind coming home to find you naked with only chocolate sauce all over your hot cannibal body for me to eat for dessert." Will grinned, eyes looking devious and sassy.

"I'm not sure if using actual milk chocolate or dark chocolate would hold up well unless you expect me to use that awful chocolate body paint from that horrible Spencer's store you and Abigail like going into in the malls for humor and awful gift gag antics." Hannibal sighed with a huff.

"I'm only kidding Hannibal! I wouldn't want you having to go through all of that unnecessary trouble just for me on Valentine's Day. You know we both aren't really into the whole stereotypical American capitalistic celebrating that holiday like everyone else is. I don't need any of that rom-com crap to know that you love me and vice versa." Will laughed while trying to assure his cannibal lover that they didn't need to celebrate the romance holiday as most did of stereotypical, "normal".

"This I agree with you wholeheartedly, my love." Hannibal nodded, feeling relieved, for the moment.

"Agreed, which is why I'm perfectly fine with us just doing dinner. You choose what should be on the menu. Surprise me. Abigail said she was planning to ditch us tomorrow night anyway to join one of her friends Emma or Cadie for a Friends-Valentine's sleepover at Emma's house. So, we and the pack have the whole house to ourselves tomorrow night." Will added, his eyes looking delighted at sharing that tad bit of information to Hannibal.

"Fine, fine. I'll do my best to make our dinner a little more special, nothing too overzealous for the romantic Hallmark carded holiday if that's what you'd like. Would you still like a present?" Hannibal sighed, knowing he gave in too easily now and then to Will's sneaky demands but argued with himself that it's what you do, compromising with the ones you love and are immensely devoted to.

"Sure, if you want to get me anything. Surprise me, I don't need anything crazy or overly expensive Hann, you know I'm not difficult to get gifts for.." Will mused, finishing off his whiskey with a smile.

"Alright. We'll spend Valentine's Day home with an evening dinner, drinks, sitting by the fire as we are now. No rom-com movies at the cinema, no opera, no theater hipster shows of a date night out on the town. Perfect." Hannibal nodded.

"Perfect indeed. I still want us to listen to some Bob Dylan and some Billie Holiday on my record player besides classic opera music if that's fine." Will grinned, looking even more amused and satisfied at the surprised then resolved grumpy-annoyed furrowing of his partner's expression.

"As you wish," Hannibal grumbled, while Will laughed, wrapping him into a bear hug of his arms and kisses across his perfect jawline.

Later in that very same Thursday evening, after the two had said goodnight to all of their canines, checked in on a sleeping Abigail in her bedroom to wish her pleasant dreams, the two men went into their master bedroom to settle in for the night.

While Will slept soundly, Hannibal Lecter wasn't sleeping. The man was panicking on the inside despite looking cool-calm collective on the outside laying in the bed on his side. Tomorrow was Friday, Valentine's Day.

He had spent all of that morning and afternoon a mess, quite the cannibal wreck with trying to figure out what to do for Will's gift. After all, it would be their first official and a very real romantic holiday of the "traditional" Valentine's Day together as a couple. He didn't want to get or create just any wonderful masterpiece or buy anything for Will, despite money not being an issue for him. He didn't want to draw him something, not when he had already many sketchbooks, framed drawings in some privacy of walls within his office and their home dedicated to the visual art of capturing the essence that was of his darling William Graham. He didn't like writing a new piano or harpsichord musical sonnet would be the perfect gift. Not even the thought of making just one of Will's favorite dishes seemed like being worthy enough to be called a Valentine's Day gift when he already made the man's favorite meals every other couple of days routine wise.

Hannibal wanted it to be different, more meaningful, but what?

That was why he had earlier in the day sought out seeking advice on what to do for Will for their first Valentine's Day from the very people who knew Will Graham in general or to the extent of knowing his likes and dislikes...their mutual friends and closest loved ones.

And wasn't that quite the stressful morning and afternoon that Hannibal had earlier when he had taken a 'personal day off' from treating his patients to seek out advice. All while Will had been far too busy with teaching classes all day or having meetings with students in his office. Too busy to know or be aware of what his cannibal-sneaky lover had been up to.

Sometimes, Hannibal still couldn't help but wonder if he and Will were far more 'normal' than that of their average so-called 'normal' friends were...especially with some of the gift suggestions that they each individually had advised or strongly suggested that Hannibal gift to Will for Valentine's Day.

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_**Alana Bloom's Advice:**_

_"Give Will the heart-shaped box of various chocolates and roses!" Alana suggested as she sat down with Hannibal in her office at Quantico._

_"He's quite picky at the kind of candy much fewer chocolates he likes eating Alana. Will says heart-shaped traditional boxed mystery flavor boxed chocolates doesn't impress him or his sweet tooth," Hannibal sighed. He knew Will would just give heart-shaped boxed chocolates immediately to Abigail who had an even bigger sweet tooth than either of them both had._

_"Roses then? Or how about those mixed romance wildflowers of carnations and daisies florists can have delivered to his office, during one of his classes, or at home at the door? Everyone, man or woman loves receiving flowers." Alana then tried re-suggested grinning with a wink._

_"Alana my dear, does Will seem like the type of gay or bisexual man who would swoon over receiving flowers like you would if you bought up dozens of roses for Margot? He'd just look at them, blush, ask why did I go through the trouble of buying him flowers when we already have our sea of flowers in the flower beds in our backyard garden growing." Hannibal sighed, even more, looking annoyed._

_"Alright, that's a no then. What if you just left a trail of rose petals from the front door to your bedroom where he'd find you naked, with chocolate-covered strawberries and lots of whipped cream in the bed...waiting for him to make a dessert out of you?" Alana offered, amusingly as a joke._

_"...It wouldn't work...I had already done that for him when he had need cheering up that one time when he had come home in a bad turmoil mood after Jack had pushed his buttons and limitations on how much profiling Will could do on that one case out of town...it took me forever to find the right dry cleaners to get the chocolate and whipped cream strawberry stains out of our bed sheets and pillowcases...quite the mess." Hannibal shared._

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_**Katz, Price, and Zeller's (Team Sassy Science's) Advice:**_

_"No, no! Don't listen to Dr. Bloom! Her advice is stupid, everyone does those cliche things this time of the romance season. What you need to do is make Will one of those Do-it-yourself fancy chefs flavored chocolates...with grasshoppers and bugs in them editable! It's all the rage with those rich hipster chef rich people, right Hannibal?" Beverly suggested while her eyes were busy looking over a dead body she was busy cutting into with her cutting autopsy tools in the lab._

_"I agree with you on cliche ideas Alana sometimes has Ms. Katz. Not all of us 'rich types' are hipsters, however, and as for chocolate-flavored insects...Will's already had those before. He said chocolate-covered crickets I once made him when we wanted to get ahem 'adventurous' in making desserts didn't do anything to him in the sense of wanting to experience that again. He just saw it like he was eating salty peanuts like he was at a baseball game." Hannibal shared, shaking his head as he stood across the room of the trio's lab a.k.a. The fun super play grown-up room._

_"No, just go to the dog pound kennels in Wolf Trap or Baltimore and adopt all of those mutts and buy a big farm for you both to live on forever. Will will love you for it." Jimmy suggested casually, while he was looking over some paperwork and trying to nuke a loaded stuffed baked potato in their microwave nearby the counter space where they kept their 'Team Sassy Science Snacks' cupboard on the countersink area space._

_"I believe we already have enough dogs, Mr. Price. It's bad enough that Will keeps having the urge to want to bring home every single stray he sees on the road...I fear we have enough furry children at the moment." Hannibal answered immediately._

_"Well, guess you're stuck having to make him something super fancy dinner wise or just making up instant gift coupons. My twin says it works great for him and his wife when they want to spice things up." Jimmy then suggested, eyes still watching his lunch cooking in the microwave slowly._

_"Ignore both Beverly and Jimmy Dr. Lecter, They're both idiots. This is what you do, it worked for me when I once dated this girl who was similar to Will and his slight personality but she had a vagina, and no penis or balls. You take him out to dinner at some fancy overpriced restaurant, and order snails fancy tasty in their shells and some oysters, the food of love, and some expensive booze. Set the scene all romantic like, and...tell him you love him, and you'd completely and utterly...let him blow you...then propose. Same-Sex Marriage is now legally equal in both Maryland and Virginia." Brian offered, grinning mischievously._

_"...Thank you for sharing your suggestion Mr. Zeller...noted." Hannibal drawled, looking and feeling quite uncomfortable just then._

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**_Jack Crawford's Advice:_**

_"Dinner and a movie like at a drive-in always worked well for Bella and Me. Why not try something like that Hannibal? Will looks like the quiet type who might enjoy getting out of the house and away from the dogs." Jack suggested, his attention still glued to his pinned up wall of all evidence and theories surrounding 'The Ripper' board._

_"Will hates drive-ins, can't stand the noise of other car passengers, and we already once in a while go out to the cinema to take in a movie here and there...We prefer to eat at home unless we make special reservations for excellent restaurants..." Hannibal shared, trying to keep his person suit and face on._

_"Have you considered trying to take him to something new, like a science or history museum, or a museum dedicated to all things dogs? He's a dog person right?" Jack suggested amusingly and sarcastically._

_Yes, Hannibal was 'so tempted' to let the mask come undone to gut Jack Crawford...but didn't want to face his unofficial spouse's wrath or being forced to sleep with Buster alone in the living room...and being punished with no sex...for a month._

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**_Dogs Advice:_**

_"What do you think Papa should buy or create a gift to give to Daddy for Valentine's Day? Should I go about making another meaningful 'art piece' for Daddy? Or should I just make him his favorite breakfast or dinner for the evening meal tomorrow?" Hannibal asked looking towards all seven of his and Will's 'furry children' of the dog pack, who sat in the dog park with him, all off their leashes, sitting by his side at the picnic table._

_Zoe's little tail wagged as she drooled her tongue happily staring at their beloved 'Papa who makes and gives them the best sausage treats ever'. Ellie stared up at Hannibal until she left to play tag around the dog park's grass with Max and Jack, not wanting to answer their second favorite human. Harley cocked his head for a few minutes before he decided to go by the giant tree he had been eyeing when they got there to look for any potential squirrels up in the branches to bark and harass at. _

_Winston and Buster, the most loyal of the children, stayed behind._

_Winston laid his head gently onto Hannibal's dark expensive dress trousers, looking thrilled when Hannibal's long elegant fingers started to pet at his head._

_Buster was too occupied with scratching the slight itch he was having on his left ear with his back leg paw trying to get to that right spot._

_"Hmm, perhaps this needs more thorough planning and consideration...Buster, don't lick under your belly into your lower areas, that is rude. Manners Buster, one does not do that out in public. Your Daddy and I have taught you better than that." Hannibal chided his first out of two favorites of his 'children'._

_Perhaps he should seek advice from his and William's other child, the other child who had become his legal teenage ward and him becoming her legal guardian, though she preferred to call him 'Papa' and Will 'Dad' privately._

_"Guys, you all will have twenty more minutes to play and converse with your fellow furry friends here in this park until we'll be heading home, your sister will be waiting to help me fix up our meals for lunch," Hannibal called out then to the rest of the pack._

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**_Abigail Hobbs Advice:_**

_"I think what Dad would like is a simple dinner, as simple as you can make the meal with your unique flair on the proteins. Why not make something he'd like, like a pot pie, and a dessert?" Abigail suggested softly with her warmth of a quiet smile, as she helped Hannibal filling the dogs' bowls with their lunch._

_"I considered doing something like that but wasn't sure...I always make his favorites." Hannibal sighed, not liking the feeling he was feeling of uncertainty for once._

_"We know that it's Dad, Will, who isn't the typical guy who is wowed or amazed by red roses or chocolate boxes. It's Dad, just give him something you know he would love to be given, something creative and useful to him...but made from your designs Papa." Abigail tried suggesting and reassuring him as she put an extra spoonful helping of the dog food into Buster's bowl, knowing how much of a little glutton he was._

_"I think I have something in mind that I know he will like indeed...perhaps, I'll have to think about it. Any dish you think he'd like to have for dinner tomorrow night?" Hannibal asked his unofficial 'daughter' as they finished feeding the dogs, moving to the kitchen sink to wash up before he'd start on making a salad for their lunch._

_"Dad said to me the other day how he was missing lasagna lately. You haven't made it I think not since fall. That'd go well with your and his favorite red wines." Abigail suggested with a grin._

_"Sounds like potential. I'll think it over, I might consider making him something he can find useful in fishing."_

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_'I know what I'll craft for him as a gift and to cook for our evening meal alone together then',_ Hannibal silently thought to himself, his mind made up as he let himself lean into Will's hold of his body, falling asleep into the night.

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"Hannibal, I have to say that this is probably the best Valentine's Day I have ever had. At least with the best company, and excellent meal," Will praised his favorite golden-streak brunette as they both sat at the dining room table together having finished their meal.

"Well then, I am glad to have had such a great suggestion from our daughter to have baked you up my simple recipe of a truly Italian Lasagna but with a few extra flavorful cheeses, the tomato sauce more sharper with it's fresher basil and garlic mixed with the ricotta and 'long pork' more richer." Hannibal could only gloat so happy and pleased that his surprising Will with dinner ready on the table as the man had come home from a full day of teaching at the campus academy, to the smells of the baked pasta and homemade Italian garlic bread luring him in.

"Glad that Abigail suggested you make me lasagna then. Would you like one of your gifts now to open? It's under the table right here in this small ice chest cooler." Will asked as he pulled an old small-sized ice chest from under his side of the table, handing it over to Hannibal who looked surprised but thrilled.

"I hope you didn't have to go through too much trouble with getting me your gift. My words aren't these beautiful to see. Kidneys, a Liver, and a nice lovely shade of a red heart. Thank you, Will, these are quite the surprise," Hannibal couldn't help but sound impressed but in awe at the perfectly harvested organs sitting in layers of ice cubes.

"I thought you'd enjoy them. Remember when I was coming home late the other evening from taking Buster with me on that drive to go do an errand?" Will asked Hannibal calmly as he watched his eyes look at the gifts contently with happiness.

"Yes, you had said something about needing to get some extra supplies for us to have stock up for the basement cellar." Hannibal nodded.

"Well, technically that was true. These came from a very 'rude' woman, named Jessica Hassel. She was that very entitled woman I told you about a week ago who didn't clean up her little Boston terrier's shit on that hiking trail in the Wolftrap park hiking trails when I had taken our pack for that hike Beverly and I had met up together at for a hike and jog," Will started to explain before Hannibal immediately cut him off.

"That same woman who was incredibly 'rude' to you and Ms. Katz when you had asked her to clean up after her pet on the dirt trail hike path? 'That' pig who had rudely told you as I recall you saying to 'Fuck off and mind your own business you plaid wearing hermit-homeless looking faggot', and insulted our beloved pack?" Hannibal asked, icy to his tone of voice.

"Mmhm, that's the same rude and homophobic entitled bitch. It didn't take me long to find her again another day hiking on the trails alone when she got back to her car in the parking lot after her hike alone without her dog that time in the evening. She left her car unlocked, it was my gain with her carelessness. Didn't take me long to wait for her to return, injecting the needle into her neck just like you showed me while wearing the gloves and modified clear raincoat-suit coat." Will answered, grinning while there was a dark glint in his eyes that just made Hannibal's toes curl happily.

"Wonderful, that explains why the extra freezer box in the cellar was closed and locked up for the week...you were hiding my present. You always still manage to surprise me with my darling," Hannibal sighed contently.

"Good, because someone has to keep you on your toes. Where's my gift?" Will asked, looking excited as Hannibal handed him a small white paper box with a simple red ribbon bow tied around it.

"I think you'll enjoy using this little present when you're out at the lakes with Abigail on your annual 'Father-Daughter Weekend Together Time'. It's all hand put together," Hannibal grinned as he watched Will unwrap the ribbon and opened the box.

"A brand new unique fishing hook for my fishing rod to fly-fish with. It's beautiful Hann, are these little bones? Feathers?" Will asked as he held the small fishing hook that looked to be white and carved out of some sort of bone material...tied with delicate-looking feathers and hairs on it.

"The bone is actually from a woman's index finger bone I carved and had sharpened with some sharpening and carving tools I kept from my creative artist phase when I had studied some sculpture hand-building classes in Italy when I was younger. The feathers are from swallows that Chiyoh mailed to me as a gift some time ago. I had them kept with some foxtail hairs in a box of various little art sculpting mediums I kept. Mostly, for sculpture small pieces creating." Hannibal explained, watching as Will looked over the fishing lure hook with excitement.

"This is wonderful Hannibal, I love it. You are the greatest, I fucking love you," Will grinned, as he pulled the older man into an immediate kiss much to Hannibal's delight.

"For you, always. I'm glad you enjoyed your gifts this year for our first official holiday of Saint Valentine's Day together with my Will. What was this you spoke earlier about another gift?" Hannibal inquired after he pulled away from Will's tempting lips.

"Well, remember how you were saying how you always thought I'd look 'delectable' in one of those gender-neutral lingerie sets or lingerie made for men when we were having that wonderful discussion about our secret fantasies?" Will asked him, as he suddenly moved out of Hannibal's grasp, as he started grinning mischievously as he saw Hannibal's eyes become wider in shock.

"Yes, I remember that conversation...and...what did you order...from that catalog I had shown you?" Hannibal asked, feeling his hands tense, that familiar hunger of lust kicking into his body, heart, and mind.

"I bought a very nice set, a lovely lingerie baby doll top and lacy panty set that looks great on my hips...in a lovely blue shade that matches my eyes. I was hoping if you wanted to after we finished cleaning up the table and putting the dishes to wash in that dishwasher of yours, I could start modeling the baby doll top." Will shared what he had ordered, and had upstairs in their bedroom, in a very calm but minx-voice.

"Just the top?" Hannibal questioned, sounding confused at Will's wording.

"Yes...I happen to be wearing those hip comfortable lace blue panties right now under my teaching jeans...See you upstairs after you finish clearing the table and handling the dishes. I'll give myself a nice head started to get ready for you," Will answered, eyes looking mischievously naughty, as he moved in to give Hannibal a quick kiss on his lips before he took off, with a sway of his jean wearing hips up the stairs.

"...I've never been as grateful to my daughter being out of the house for the evening, and automatic electronic dishwashers like I am now. Happy Valentine's Day to me...Clever Boy he is, He's not getting out of our bed anytime tomorrow...not when I'm through with him." Hannibal growled happily.

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**End**

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**Author's Ending Notes:**

A holiday one-shot story for Valentine's Day 2020 completed.

I might write a sequel story one-shot to continue this story that has a lot of possible potential for some more romantic domestic love between Will and Hannibal.

(Lot's of potential for Will wearing some lovely things just making poor Hannibal hot around his fancy human suited collars ahahaha!)

I hope everyone who enjoyed reading this story liked it or loved it.

If anyone didn't care for it, then I'm sorry you feel that way.

Feel free to leave likes or kudos, comments or reviews, or favoriting or following this story.

Any negative nancy reviews or false 'constructive criticism' flame comments will be eye-rolled at, ignored, before being given to Dr. Lecter to read, look over, to throw into the fire and add some more names into his person card contact Rolodex.

Until next time everyone, have a wonderful weekend, hope you all enjoyed your Valentine's Day.


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